Spoiler alert: This article contains spoilers from episodes 11 and 12 of Love Is Blind, Season 7.

Love is Blind is the only dating reality show I’ve ever really gotten into, and it’s safe to say the drama of watching people fall in love with someone they’ve never met (and then figure out whether they want to marry them or not) is deeply entertaining. Nobody can say they’re watching these reality shows because they want to see only love, but there is some drama that hits a little too close to home — like Ramses and Marissa’s breakup in Love is Blind Season 7. The truth is, we’ve all been Marissa, and watching her genuine heart shatter in front of the entire world made my own heart break.

Marissa and Ramses were one of those couples you were really rooting for. After letting go of her connection with Bohdan just before Ramses proposed, it felt like Marissa and Ramses were a sure thing. The physical attraction was definitely there, and they both seemed spiritual and progressive, moving through life with a beautiful view of the world.

And then… well. Ramses showed his true colors. After being an absolute ass to Marissa about her previous military service and then daring to suggest that her going off birth control and moving to sex with condoms would make sex less pleasurable for them, nobody was really feeling great about Ramses — except Marissa. This woman was still fully committed to her man, willing to fight for him and their relationship, until Episode 11 ended with a cliffhanger… and the two of them officially broke up in the first few minutes of Episode 12.

That’s where I broke down, too.

Ramses beat around the bush a lot, but our girl Marissa stayed on him. She wanted to know exactly why he didn’t think their love was enough for marriage, and she called him out on his fears that a second marriage would end for him, arguing that divorce is a risk in any marriage. But Ramses finally broke down and gave her a real answer: It’s “her energy.” The very essence of Marissa, everything that culminates inside of her to be who she is — that’s the part Ramses can’t imagine being with forever.

And it’s devastating.

Look, Ramses is a sh*t dude, but of course everyone should vibe with their partner’s energy. Not everybody works well with someone who is loud and full of life, and not everybody wants a quiet, stoic person. That’s OK. But when the entire point of this experiment is to fall in love with someone for who they are — for someone who has zero guards up, like Marissa did the entire time in the pods — it feels a little like a slap in the face to decide just days before the wedding that the energy your partner gave was fun, but wouldn’t work long-term.

Breakups are always tough to watch in reality shows, but there was something so achingly real about Marissa’s broken heart that made me gasp and hold my own hands to my chest.

Haven’t we all been Marissa? We’ve all felt loved and appreciated and seen by a partner, only to be told we’re too much. We’ve all let our guard down, decided to let the dorkiest parts of us shine, and felt the burn of our own light when someone says they need to take a step back.

Season 7 of Love is Blind has been filled with interesting, funny, smart, kind women (not you, Hannah, sorry) and just absolutely subpar men, but nothing has been as sad as Marissa’s broken heart. Even in the pods, she had mentioned her energy and what it was like to be with her, sharing her real past relationship stories where she was too much for other people or that she’d heard before that she was fun to be with at first, but they just couldn’t see it going long-term. So, to have it happen right there at the end when she thought Ramses was ready to love all of her? Oof. “I just want someone to be sure about me,” she cried. “I just want someone to choose me.”

Oh, Marissa. You aren’t alone. We choose you, over and over.